YOU are the Author of Your Life

Can I have a moment of your time? Have a seat, take a nice slow deep breath, inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth… hhhaaaa

There’s lots going on! Lists to check, things to do, presents to wrap, meal planning, work, house cleaning, keeping up with the kids…

Do you feel like you’ve lost your joy in the hustle of it all? Has it become arduous and tiring? Are you counting down the days until you can finally rest again, even for a few minutes?

Let’s pause for a moment…

You are the author of your life.

You are the creator of your life.

You can change this course.

If you’re not feeling joy in what lies ahead it’s important to reassess your priorities. Whats important to you?

There’s no right or wrong answers here, simply a time to gain clarity.

I realized some years ago that I had made all the other things more important than simply the happiness of me, my beloved husband, and our children.

I was checking the lists, hustling about, trying to do everything and in the midst of it all I was miserable and tired. I was looking forward to when all the holiday stuff was over so I could breathe again. I said yes to invitations and commitments out of obligation instead of discerning and choosing what would be joyful for me and my family.

I didn’t realize that it could be different.

Within each of us is the capacity to only do so much. This capacity though, is directly effected by how we nourish and care for ourselves first. Then our husband and then our children. After that is our home and then onward to the next thing.

I invite you to pause and assess what you’re creating and how things are going. If it doesn’t feel yummy and delightful perhaps it’s time to reprioritize.

1) YOU. You cannot give to others what you don’t have.

If you’re not loving, nourishing, and taking care of yourself and your needs your pitcher will become depleted and empty. And when more is asked of you there will be nothing to give, nothing to pour into others.

Furthermore, if you’re asked to give when you already have nothing, it is likely you will react in frustration, anger, depression, anxiety, exhaustion, resentfulness and more.

Taking care of you can look like hiring a babysitter even for an hour or swapping babysitting with another mama and then using that time to guilt free, nourish you.

It can look like watching a movie, reading a book, journaling, taking a bath or shower, taking time to do your hair and makeup and dress up for the day. You are the special occasion, so why not show up for yourself? Do not use this time to clean the house or pick up one more project, that will come later.

2) HUSBAND. Nourish your husband and stay close and connected to him.

Anything that arises or is challenging, you face with your beloved, side-by-side facing the challenge together. It also looks like taking your challenges, overwhelm, fears, to him and asking for his counsel for how to navigate it. Trust his counsel.

Take time to love on each other and flirt, send text messages or voice notices, touch each other and hug and kiss often. Make time for intimacy.

3) KIDS. Take time to play and have fun with your kids, even the teenagers.

Play and laugh together. Share stories and play games. Give them hugs throughout the day, tell them you love them. For your kids who have phones send them texts sharing some of your favorite memories or pictures of them. For your kids without phones find pixtures and share memories of them that you love.

Pour love into your kids. Invite them to help you bake or make dinner, to help clean up the house. Talk to them, ask them how their day was. What was great about it, what was challenging or frustrating. Listen with an open ear.

4) HOUSE. Make your house and space a priority.

Sit down with your husband and kids and make a game plan. Have the children help you. Ask for your husbands support and help. If you’re feeling too far behind ask a family member or friend if they would help you and you could help them in exchange. The island many women live on is self-created because we’re to afraid to ask for help or to share our struggles.

There’s a village of love and support willing to help you, if you ask them for it. You can also hire someone too.

Start with those 4 areas, in that order and everything else will sort itself out. Remember to be light hearted, and find laughter in the mundane.

One way or another you’re going to move through this chapter of your life and you can choose to do that in joy or drudgery… however joy is a lot more enjoyable.